you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
