let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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