I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Success! We fucked roommates!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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