Dual....:-)
kristin has been a bad kristin
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize