blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
