I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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