I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
