There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
