So drunk its hurt
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
