This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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