I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
