He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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