Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
