i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
