dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I have demons in me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
