____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
