whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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