it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize