had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
