So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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