Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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