I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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