How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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