We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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