Non-Jews are for practice
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize