These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
