Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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