Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
