we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
