I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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