Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just sucked dick on a ferry
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
