Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize