Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
