Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
