She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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