I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
