By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
