I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
