Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
