I hate your face
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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