And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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