Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
