areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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