As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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