I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
