You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
