I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
