i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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