my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im holly from the hills drunk
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
