I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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