we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
