Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
