Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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