Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My feet surprised me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
