you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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