Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
