I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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