he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
