Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
