oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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