I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I came so hard my ears popped.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
